:: Feature Story: Linda Pearson

Name:

My Story:

As far back as I can remember I knew I was abandoned. My adoptive parents told me very young that I was found in a boarding house by a man, and he did not know any details of my biological mother. As a young girl I often wondered what I would look like when I grew up, and also fantasized about being from a rich family and being kidnapped since I was told that I was found with no clothes, except the ones on my back, which seemed a little bizarre since I was found at 3 months. I couldn't understand how someone could have a baby for 3 months and not leave any clothes, bottles or even a note.

I was abandoned in the summer of 1966, and lived in foster care following my abandonment. I was adopted in mid July while my adoptive mother was working as a foster parent for the Ville Marie Service Center in Montreal. Two long years later, I was officially adopted by my adoptive parents in 1968.

I often wondered how or why anyone could just walk away. I was sure my mother must have thought about me, at least once a year on the day I was born. I contacted the agency that facilitated my adoption when I was 18 and they forwarded a series of documents to fill in, but at the time in Quebec all adoption files were sealed. I could not access anything.

In 1994 I had my first child at the age of 28. When she turned 3 months old, I remember sitting and holding her wondering how anyone could just walk away? 3 months seemed like an eternity to have a baby and all the stuff I had for her by then, how could my mother not leave any clothes?

I contacted the agency again, filled in the forms but with no real names or exact dates didn't get very far. At this time my emotions were coming out, and I was angry. I didn't pursue the search. I was not ready.

In 1998 I was pregnant with my second child. At the first routine ultrasound I was informed that my baby had a huge birth defect. His bowels were growing on the outside of his body. I was told by the doctors that when a birth defect of that degree is present there is often other genetic disorders. I had an amniocentesis and was sent immediately to the hospital with the amniotic fluid to be tested. I was questioned by the specialist about family history, to which I was unable to provide any information. My son, Matthew, was born in Sept 1998, two and a half months premature which resulted in a whole new batch of problems.

I had been asked numerous times throughout my life for family medical history but now it was crucial. At this point, I knew that I had to find my biological mother - for what most take for granted, information to my biological roots.

I went to the archives at a local university and searched through newspaper articles for abandoned babies around that time. I came across an article printed June 20, 1966 in the Gazette that bore extremely similar facts, to what I knew. The story headline "Man finds baby girl abandoned." Lapraire police were trying to locate the parents of a three month old baby girl abandoned Friday night in a boarding house in that South Shore Community. The article went on to identify the man by name and gave his address. I took that information and searched on an internet directory and found him. I asked him if he used to live at 855 Deslauriers, he confirmed that yes he did. I then asked him if he found a baby outside his apartment 32 years ago. He confirmed that he did and I told him that I thought that baby was me. I still had doubts, but the uncertainty disappeared when I met them and they showed me a clipping from a June 25, 1966 article, featuring a photo of Constable Yves Rancourt holding the abandoned child. I placed a photo of my son next to the aged clipping, and I knew I looked so much like my son.

I spent the afternoon with the couple that found me looking at the articles and discussing their theories. They believed that I was left by a young girl who felt hopeless and had no where to turn for help. At the night of the abandonment, the couple entered their apartment building and they noticed a parked car that seemed out of place. They remember seeing a man in the driver's seat and a woman sitting in the passenger seat. When they discovered my body at their doorstep, Mr. Morency ran to the window immediately. He thought of getting the license plate number, but it was too late. The car was driving away. At the time of the visit they made me feel a little better. They told me that I wasn't discarded like a piece of trash. They believed that since I was clean, healthy and well taken care of, they thought it was my mother's intention to keep and raise me.

I took some newspaper articles and started on this elusive search. I tracked down the sister of the police officer in the photo. When I first spoke to her, she was in tears and caught with such emotion. At the night of my abandonment, she was 14 and had tried to convince her parents to keep me. I was taken to her house and stayed with the police officer's family for a few days. The sister told me that they went out and bought me new clothes, since all I had on was an undershirt wrapped in a blanket. She also told me inside the blanket were clothe diapers stamped with a hospital name "Hospital Notre Dame." With this evidence, she was certain that I was born at that hospital.

The sister admits that she cried for days when they had to hand me over to an orphanage that was operated by Nuns. She confessed that she called the orphanage numerous times a day to check up on me, and they limited her to one call per day. A week later she was told I was no longer there and that I was given to a foster home. She told me she always wondered what had happened to me over these years apart and I was the topic of many family discussions. Her father even laminated a picture of her and I that she still possesses today. She was happy that I was adopted by a good family, but wished that her parents were still alive to hear that I had resurfaced.

I had an article of my story published on November 20, 1998 in the Montreal Gazette hoping for my biological mother to come forward. I did receive a call a few days later once a local French newspaper picked up the story. A woman by the name of Lisa contacted me and told me that her husband and his sisters just found out from their mother that they have an older sister. Apparently, the baby girl was the same age and they were told that the baby was given up for adoption. Lisa claimed this situation was so difficult for her to discuss and did not want to divulge any information because it was too painful for her. She just wanted her husband and his siblings to know that they had an older sister. When Lisa saw my picture in the paper she was shocked at how much I resembled her mother in law, and her husband. She did not want to give me any information as she wanted to confront her mother in law with this article and told me once she had done this she would get back to me. A few days passed and I had yet to hear back from her, so I decided to follow up myself. This conversation was much different and showed resistance. Lisa claimed that her mother-in-law was insulted, and assured them that she would never abandon her baby. The mother-in-law insisted that her daughter was given up for adoption through the proper channels. I continued to pursue this and tried to convince them to meet with me. I also offered to pay for a DNA test to either rule out or confirm this information; however Lisa and her husband did not want to invade her privacy. Since the timing of this search was ill-timed with my son's illness and his hospital stay, I dropped this lead. A few months passed and I tried to contact Lisa again but to my disappointment, the number was disconnected with no forwarding number.

I still want my family medical history and need to understand why I was left. I want answers.

Do not stop searching for your answers! Once I spoke to Janet Keall, I realized that I can't stop looking for my biological mother, even though I believe I may never find her. However I don't want to regret one day that I did not search and then it may be too late. I am amazed how much our lives are similar, not only our beginnings but how our lives continued to be very similar; a rebellious teenager stage; feelings of not fitting in; and experiencing the life of a single mother.

I never realized how much this abandonment issued impacted my life and decisions that I made throughout my life. Looking back, I believe that most of my poor decisions and my character flaws today can be directly attributed to the fact that I was abandoned