JANET'S BLOG
Welcome to my world! This is a candid view into the intimate and delicate facets of my orphaned life. These experiences stemming from my abandonment; permanent biological disconnection; drugged institutionalization and adoption may haunt me at times, but they also humbly empower and rejuvenate my soul. Enjoy the read and hug your family!
I welcome your feedback and participation - drop me a line anytime: janet@keallfoundation.com
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew - Written By Sherrie Eldridge
Category : Support
This book is an “oldie”, published 10 years ago (haha), but I still highly recommend this book to pre and post adoptive parents. It speaks of the true pain, trauma and much needed respect that adoptees need. For a teaser, here are the 20 things: 1. I suffered a profound loss before I was adopted. You are not responsible. 2. I need to be taught that I have special needs arising from adoption loss, of which I need not be ashamed. 3. If I don't grieve my loss, my ability to receive love from you and others will be hindered. 4. My unresolved grief may surface in anger toward you. 5. I need your help in grieving my loss. Teach me how to get in touch with my feelings about my adoption and then validate them. 6. Just because I don't talk about my birth family doesn't mean I don't think about them. 7. I want you to take the initiative in opening convesations about my birth family. 8. I need to know the truth about my conception, birth, and family history, no matter how painful the details may be. 9. I am afraid I was "given away" by my birth mother because I was a bad baby. I need you to help me dump my toxic shame. 10. I am afraid you will abandon me. 11. I may appear more "whole" than I actually am. I need your help to uncover the parts of myself that I keep hidden so I can integrate all the elements of my identity. 12. I need to gain a sense of personal power. 13. Please don't say I look or act just like you. I need you to acknowledge and celebrate our differences. 14. Let me be my own person...but don't let me cut myself off from you. 15. Please respect my privacy regarding my adoption. Don't tell other people without my consent. 16. Birthdays may be difficult for me. 17. Not knowing my full medical history can be distressing at times. 18. I am afraid I will be too much for you to handle. 19. When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hand in there with me, and respond wisely. 20. Even if I decide to search for my birth family, I will always want you to be my parents. Now, go out and buy it! I’m sure you will read it time and time again. (If you can't buy it in the bookstore, you can order it online at amazon.ca/com).
